Started the Dharma Worker program last Friday.
Dharma worker is a program through the Buddhist Society for Compassionate Wisdom based off the relatively common cultural practice of temporary renunciation and novice monk-hood practiced in Asian Buddhist communities. The Zen Buddhist Temple of Ann Arbor is my home base of practice and will be for the next six months.
This past weekend was challenging for a variety of reasons; reasons I may or may not get into later. Anyhow, I’ve come away from it with mixed feelings as usual. The structure in particular is something I’ve resisted for a long time, but honestly welcome despite the difficulties.
I’ve also come away with the feeling that Zen may not be for me. Dharma is great, and I really feel, understand, and believe the progression of cultivation of Sila, cultivation of Samadhi, and the cultivation of Panja. The rituals, blind prayers, and such to random Buddha’s, Bodhisattva’s, and other Beings I do not know of, is particularly difficult for me to reconcile with the supposed Zen focus and emphasis on inner cultivation and such. Suffice to say contradictions abound. That said, I am aware things take time to change. There’s no “get-rich-quick” in the Dharma, so I’ll chalk up my misgivings and bad feelings up to the stirring up of and subsequent release of old habits, keep my sharpening my awareness, and practicing with the best intentions.